In a recent magazine interview, Ashley Judd spoke about her role in the movie Divergent. Based on the book series, the film is about a society that divides people into five factions, each based on a different virtue. A decision has to be made at age 16 to remain in the faction one was born into or switch into another, for life.
Judd’s character is torn between two powerful forces: The desire to belong, and the desire to be an individual.
Judd describes her true life struggle with the very same tension, especially during adolescence.
I think we can all relate to that struggle. And not just during adolescence.
In Judd’s case, her mother (Naomi) and sister (Wynonna) were on tour much of the time. Judd moved in with her father, who often left Judd alone.
She credits psychotherapy with helping her to recognize the longing created by her mother’s and sister’s absence. (Yay, therapy!)
I was thinking about the same kind of struggle today. How much do I want to fit in and be like everyone else, and how much do I want to assert individuality, even if it means setting myself apart?
Today’s yoga class was filled with fit women wearing perfectly matched clothing. The Lululemon symbols were on every mat. Except for on my mat.
I was not wearing Lululemon. I don’t own any Lululemon, not even a headband.
I don’t agree with their philosophy and don’t want to support their company. In my opinion, they practice weight discrimination and prejudice.
By not wearing what everyone else in the class was wearing, was I an outcast? Taken less seriously?
Maybe, by some. Maybe not.
As I get older I feel less concerned.
I am reminded of grade school days. Sometimes I preferred to spend recess in the library and not on the soccer field.
Even though I wanted to be thought of as athletic and cool, I also wanted to read and spend time being quiet.
So, today, after yoga class, when I stop by the library in my non brand name yoga wear, I smile at the Universe.
It is poetic how it all assembles, eventually. How we decide whichever faction we want to be a part of, whenever we want, and for whatever reason we want.
We really can choose.
I choose limitlessness, because honoring all the different aspects of who I am is incredibly freeing.