When you hear the word restriction, you may picture someone who skips meals, cuts out food groups, or sticks to a diet. But there’s another form of restriction that’s quieter, sneakier, and harder to spot. It is called mental restriction.

You may technically allow yourself to eat certain foods or eat enough overall, yet inside, it still feels wrong. Like you’re policing yourself. There’s a running commentary in your head about what you should have eaten, how you’ll “do better” tomorrow, or that you need to compensate for what you just ate. The food is allowed, but the permission is conditional.

In other words, you may have stopped dieting, but your brain hasn’t.

What it Sounds Like:

Mental restriction shows up more in thoughts and emotions than in behaviors. It can sound like:

What it Can Be Like:

For some people, mental restriction isn’t even a clear sentence in their mind. It shows up as a rush of anxiety, guilt, or shame when eating certain foods or eating enough to feel satisfied. The body may be fed, but the nervous system is still on high alert.

Three Real Therapy Case Examples:

Case Example 1: “I’m Not Dieting, I’m Just Being Careful”

Maya (not her real name) announced she no longer diets. There are no calorie apps on her phone and no forbidden foods. Yet when she describes her eating, the word shouldn’t keeps appearing. She “shouldn’t” eat bread unless she exercised that day. She “shouldn’t” snack after dinner. When I asked what would happen if she did, she paused. “I’d feel bad about myself and super guilty” she said.

The food itself isn’t the problem. The internal rules were still Boss, and that is the problem.

Case Example 2: The Greenish Light

Jordan stopped dieting 2 years ago and considers himself “to be balanced.” He “allows” himself dessert, but only after a long internal debate. If work is stressful, dessert isn’t justified. If he skips the gym, he believes he doesn’t “deserve” dessert. While eating, he enjoys the food and simultaneously plans how he’ll “rein it in” tomorrow. Nothing is off-limits, yet every choice requires permission.

Case Example 3: Flexibility, really?

Ella doesn’t track food or restrict the amount she eats. Her eating looks flexible. But, with meals comes familiar anxiety, especially after 4:00. She often delays eating when she’s hungry, telling herself she “should” be able to wait. When she eats, relief turns to shame. She can’t point to a specific rule she’s breaking, but her body responds as if she has.

Why Mental Restriction Is Harmful

Mental restriction causes a form of food insecurity, even when food is readily available. (In contrast to food scarcity, which is when people do not have enough food and do not know when, where, or how they will find enough food.)

With mental restriction your brain doesn’t trust that you’ll always allow yourself to eat what you need or want. The message underneath is: You can have this now, but maybe not later,” That uncertainty matters. It is as someone else makes the rules, like Diet Culture.)

This is why mental restriction interferes with regular eating. It creates stress (and “food noise“) that makes it hard to hear your body’s signals. Hunger, fullness, satisfaction, and preference get drowned out by rules, questioning, and judgment.

Mental restriction also increases the likelihood of binge eating or feeling out of control around food. When your brain believes a food is forbidden, it shifts into “last chance” thinking. Even if you’re trying to be low–key the underlying urgency can cause eating to feel compulsive, or chaotic.

And then there’s the stress. Constantly thinking about what you ate, what you should have eaten, or how to earn or undo food choices is…. exhausting. Chronic stress affects digestion, hormones, and overall health, regardless of what or how much you eat,.

Maybe of most importance is that mental restriction takes up a huge amount of headspace. It asks you to solve an puzzle: how to give yourself just enough permission to eat without ever feeling anxious, guilty, or out of control. Spoiler alert: that amount doesn’t exist for most of us humans. You could spend all your energy trying to make food choices around weight, health, time, money, and morality.

A peaceful relationship with food isn’t built on relentless mental negotiation. It begins when permission is real, not earned, and eating isn’t a test you’re likely to fail.

Six Tips for Loosening Mental Restriction

1. Notice the Rules

Start by observing your inner commentary about food. What “shoulds” or “can’ts” are there? Name them to remove some of their power.

2. Practice Unconditional Permission

Try letting yourself eat a food without conditions, guilt, or “earning” it. Start small—maybe a single snack—and notice how it feels.

3. Check in with Your Body

Pause and ask: Am I hungry? Am I satisfied? Do I want this? Focus on your physical cues instead of mental rules.

4. Reframe

There are no “bad” foods or meals—only experiences. If you notice guilt appearing, label it as mental restriction rather than a personal failure.

5. Slow Down

Eating without mental restriction requires slowing down and paying attention to taste, texture, and satisfaction. Mindful eating is a practice, not a rule.

6. Seek Support

Talking with a therapist, dietitian, or coach experienced in intuitive eating or eating disorder recovery can help you gently unravel these internal rules.

Remember: freeing your mind from mental restriction doesn’t happen overnight. It’s about small, consistent steps to change your relationship with food from negotiation to trust. How about adding some curiosity and even enjoyment?

Dr. Elayne Daniels

Psychotherapy & coaching

What is Mental Restriction?

What It Looks Like: